Ever since reading "Don't Give Up Your Day Job," I can't stop squirming over this notion of perfectionism. I frequently use the word "perfect," but then I'll go off on some linguistic philosophical rant about how there's no such thing as "perfection" and it's a myth and the word and idea is a massive paradox and I hate it. (I'm a hypocrite, I know. What can I say? I'm not perfect!) When Bennetts said, "Perfectionism is the bane of women's existence. Everything out there is just harping on women to perfect various aspects of themselves. The message is always: you should be better, and it's the wrong message." I just about jumped out my chair and yelled, "YES! THIS! EXACTLY!" It IS the wrong message for a multitude of reasons. "Should" is a horrible word. It's kind of like when Yoda tells Luke, "Do or do not. There is no try." Do, be, say, or don't. I'm not going to get into that any further right now. Next: perfectionism is the bane of anyone's existence in whatever area they're trying to be perfect in because it's a goal that is not achievable. So, you "should" lose ten pounds and you'll be perfect. Okay, so you do lose ten pounds, and you're still not perfect in your own mind, in the society's standards, in all the various institutions and influential forces that are telling you to be perfect.
"Perfectionism is the bane of women's existence. Everything out there is just harping on women to perfect various aspects of themselves. The message is always: you should be better, and it's the wrong message."
I just love that quote so much.
I love that quote, too! It reminds me of a poem by Mary Oliver called "Wild Geese." Someone gave me a copy of it almost fifteen years ago and I still carry it with me. Here's a link to it if you want to read it: http://www.rjgeib.com/thoughts/geese/geese.html
ReplyDeleteIt starts "You do not have to be good..." Very powerful stuff.